I have always had strong opinions. Focusing on deep aspects of myself have allowed me to dive into these waters and come up with stories to tell. I have strong emotional bonds to subjects that interest me. These emotional bonds have expressed themselves in opinions and that was always as far as it goes. I have'nt felt as though I practice what I preached. These was always a battle line in my mind. I could not come to grips with my opinions while not taking action. So on I went in my little journey trying to find the peace that only would come when I put to work what I have been saying. The great thing is now I have found and avenue for my expressions. This avenue is my job. In the past I have had regular jobs that give me support and external forms of satisfaction but never attended to the interior parts of my being that needed nurturing also. Starting last Tuesday I have been working for The Fund, a non-profit-not-partisan organization based on the interests of our public. Basically I canvass on the streets of Phoenix and surrounding areas and Friday I got to visit Tuscon for the first time and talked to people. We work with different organizations and help gather members who give monthly contributions for causes and lobbying issues that matter to the people, not big business or greedy folks in public office that have lost interest in helping the world become a better place. Thats were we come in, and boy do I love it. This is the job I have been waiting for. We just ended a campaign to save nearly 700,000 acres of land right around the east valley in phoenix and places around the Grand Canyon Scenic Corridor, from being developed. These lands go up for action on Dec. 9 to the highest bidder and we don;t want that to happen, we can definitely make this happen if we did build enough public support and I hope we did. Starting on Monday were going to be working to protect the constitution from being amended, for the first time in history, to take away the rights of a certain group of people. As you may know the religious right in our country and the allies in congress, for some regressive reason, do not want same-sex couples to marry legally. This is a step in the wrong direction for America and were doing what we can to stop it. Wow, this job is step in the right direction for me and I am so glad I get to share my opinions now without the feeling that I'm not doing anything about it. This IS just the beginning and I AM going to change the world.

god its getting hard. so hard, but im so thankful of what im learning. it seems endless, this sad feeling. im trying to hard. putting on to much pressure. i just need to calm down for a day or two.

its 9 fifteen
      and its getting late
i havent finished the good on my plate
      scraps for a bad dog
and this heart of mine aches
      believing in the bait
trapped conundrum shapes
      placing to face me
shooting direct dialect
      gobbled up by eyes of
      such a monotone fate
flatlandesh upbringings drain your brain
      cant correlate sane from insane
drainage blast caps
fasting for the way or the day
take me away

From a very young age until about age twelve I found myself very full of questions. I felt as though my qestions were important to my awarness, so that getting the answers would gain me access to the "goods". Knowing absolutely the truth.
About age twelve my family started attending church regularly. The church was non-denominational and charismatic. Looking back and even at the time I felt this was the best christian atmosphere I could have experienced. The congregation was small in size but not small in heart. The small and intimate setting proved influencial to my style of learning. I wanted so bad to believe and understand the spirituality of what I was experiencing. I could gain from what was happening, in a good way, and did grow a great bit in the time I attended. We even took trips down to the Mexican border and would go on week long mission trips once a summer. We would participate in helpful activities with organizers, like passing out food, bagging clothes, and traveling into the cardboard villages to speak about Christ.
My questions were deep and I was just getting started. My quest led me into forests of confusion while my center became a drifter, I wasnt focused on the church but more on deepening myself. I was induging in destructive tricksters like drugs and alchohol to more stimulating group discussions. I read a little on existential philosophers, listened to music that couldnt contain itself and considered what death would be like. I lost value for my own life. I was a pleasure seeker and didn't stop myself from experimenting with drugs and alcohol not without the insight that there is always something to learn in any situation, so I think that I have taken from those things what I can. There is just something not ginuene about cheating yourself getting there. A more pure undertaking of life my yeild a better harvest.
People have had the biggest impact on my spiritual path. One person in particular has shaped my mindset in a profound way. He was a very important person in my life, a father figure, his name is Scottie. He made a great impact on how I view my body or my temple. I seen, by his example, that eating animals is not called for in our time. Bad eating habits controlled our culture and is the reason for such bad health problems of our people. Another way he has influenced me for the better is how talking with him brought out some of my deepest interests in life. He would do his best to answer them and we would discuss them. The lessons learned have greatly directed my path. He showed me how important is was to meditate, something I am doing more of and I want to thank him deeply. He helped nurture the small thoughts during that time, that would soon help open my eyes to Spirituality.
So with a background of a little Christianity, instances of mind altering revelations (some late night talks with Scottie kind of changed my life), and a passion for truth that has never left me, I continued on my path. Now about three years ago I first came across A Brief History of Everythingby Ken Wilber and began reading.  I misplaced the book for what was about a years time until it was time we met again. I was going far into the west Texas desert to clear my head and have some very introspective awakenings. This trip was truly amazing. I brought the book to finish while I was out there. Everything fit. Once I finished reading I was so full of God I was spilling over. I could see in a very organized way where my levels of intelligence leveled out so to start improving. Many other people had eye opening insights while in the vast desert also. They were students as was I at the time. Our leaders did a great thing for us by guiding us with great compassion and wisdom.
Since then I have been adapting to my new integral mindset. I have become familiar with what AQAL is all about and find great reassurance in what AQAL has to offer.
I have been grateful for finding http://www.integralnaked.org/ and http://www.zaadz.com/, two websites that have been so helpful in my journey. It really feels like its all coming together as were coming together. Thanks for being, Dakota.

I want to give thanks for waking up. I want to give thanks for waking up next to Jessica. All the people who are waking up with me, I give my thanks. I thank the water that Im able to drink in the morning. So much water is so good. I want to be AWAKE with all whose AWAKE. This morning is a beautiful morning. I want to thank you for bieng. Thanks for reading this. Thank God for pushing us up to him. Were so close we can feel the warmth of his heart. Thank all for existing. We must all be thankful. Thanks. Dakota

the aftershocks of thought wrenching introspective blessing
rock my minds awareness in hopes for a good return
there is no substitute for hard work
tolling the hours trenched locked muscles frown
a choice made from the heart, help me outlast
stop this circus, do not allow the parting
i will continue to be carting the weight of that day
choices made from the heart is where i will stay
up straight, deep inhalation through the chest into the hearts wide skyed
emptiness
take a second to embrace it all
breathe out pure objective existence
a step by step growers guide to my heart
stretch in the sun in the moment of love
typhonic waves of consistent avengers
smoke less and smokes less because excess, lest
we forget, clouds sensitivity, inhibits my ability to act like the rest

Sunday oh Sunday and a Luau we will go
Practicing the art of loving every part
Dancing in a textile of Blue waves and flowers
Breathing in your Heart oh God is in the Rain
An island power charted first by ancestorial Fire
Beating and Beating Drums transcending your non-sacred Isle
coming so Close to learning like a Child
Beating and Beating Inside the heart of a Man who's Wild
First attempts of Poetry again explaining nothing
but my minds forgetful thoughts, undoing matter while
closing My eyes for truth, that's what I call...that's what I saw last night.
gone for naught judged juggernauts filling up my dreams at night
night comes faster when I'm no Fun
and Ive got a bike and you can ride it if you like...hey syd you forbid but i did not get rid of my mind and i hid but i do          bid            you         a      farewell